You can stop laughing now, because I'm serious.
Yes, a poet. My dream for many, many years was to have my poetry read in a class full of students, by a teacher, and have the students debate my intended meaning of my prose. I shared this dream with a friend who passed away many years ago, my best friend Thomas, and he was sure one day it would happen. He was my supporter, my confidant, my cheerleader and the one person who I trusted for many, many years. We became friends when I was 20 and he died when I was 31. The heartbreak of losing him fueled many a poem over the years and it was his believe in me that encouraged me to publish my first book of poetry in 2009, Finding Christ Inside. Contrary to the title, my poetic spiritual journey led me to a certain belief in myself. That belief came from my friend Thomas, who was the first person who believed in me.
I used to be a drug addict. I was strung out badly on meth, drinking to knock myself out, eating mushrooms for a trip and smoking weed to keep from beating the shit out of people. I was angry, thin, covered with acne, unpredictable, hostile and violent. After many, many bar fights, breaking noses of men, trashing my enemies cars and homes, violent outbursts and living through some very dangerous situations, I sobered up. I've been sober for 20 years, which is why you'll never see photos of my drinks at the bars we visit. I'm happy to be a sober member of society and feel the world is probably a nicer place because of it. I drank and used to deaden the pain of my abusive childhood and to run away from the emotions that screamed in me. Being sober, I've had to work through a great deal of that and most of the wo
In rehab we performed an exercise in which we mimicked giving up important things in life to drugs. We wrote our 10 most important things on paper and then gave each slip of paper to the instructor, one at a time. I was fine with most of it, but when I had to hand over the slip that said, "Poetry" I lost my marbles. I fell to the floor, begging her not to take it. The idea that I could never write again devastated me. The group held me down and pried the slip of paper from my hands. It was the most impactful and painful moment of my recovery. After all of these years, I've not forgotten that.
I realized then that my heart and soul live in my poems.
Being that I have a new love in my life, I've decided to begin work on my second book. It will be my poetic thoughts of riding my motorcycle and simply the act of riding in general. In life I find that things happen when one declares they will happen. I'm declaring this here and now. I will publish a book of motorcycle poems in the near future. It is my hope that you will encourage me in this endeavor and perhaps deign to purchase a copy when the time comes.
Read a sample of my motorcycle poetry and give me your thoughts. I look forward to this new adventure.
I didn't realize you wrote poetry. I took a quick peek over at your link. I have some catching up to do.
ReplyDeleteI used to enjoy writing poetry back in the day in high school but haven't since then. Over 25 years now.
Good for you for keeping at it. I am sure it is cathartic.
I will be looking forward to purchasing a copy when the time comes.
ReplyDeleteI used to write quite a bit of poetry also during my dark years. Some of it was bike related; some wasn't. It helped to have a place where I could put all my painful feelings.
Keep up the great work Sash!